CalPERS supporters joined anti-war protesters today in an attack on student workers at the Northern California Power Agency (NCPA), based in Roseville, CA.

The act was in response to an article thought to be published by a student organization called Teenagers Responsible for Unveiling Terrorist Hypocrites, or TRUTH.

The article, entitled “CalPERS May be in League with Satan,” alleged that CalPERS pilfered student wages to offset increasing health care costs. PERS supporters felt threatened by the attack on PERS, whose controversial acceptance at NCPA stripped student workers of an early jump on their retirement.

NCPA’s Janice Craig said, “Why can’t they send those [expletive deleted] students to Iraq or something? They are trying to take our double ret—I mean, our retirement away.”

The conflict came to a head after a PERS supporter took down a copy of the article, which was posted in the employees’ lunch room. Within hours, PERS supporters were greeted by anti-war protesters who were attempting to get back the television ratings they saw in the first week of the war. It didn’t take long for PERS supporters to join the protesters, united by their hatred of freedom and equality.

Spokesperson for TRUTH, John Richardson, said, “I’m not going to call these people terrorists outright, but it’s clear they support evil dictators and stealing from the poor. Obviously they stand to gain from the oppression of the Iraqi people and students everywhere.”

As students tried to leave the building Friday afternoon, several protesters threw food at them and hurled expletives the likes of which sailors have never seen.

“Now I know what our soldiers have to go through with those war protesters,” a student at NCPA commented on the condition of anonymity. “You fight for their rights of free speech and assembly and this is how they treat you. Criminal. Absolutely criminal.”

The battle has sparked fear among analysts that this could lead to the purging of student labor at NCPA. Craig said, “If they want to be treated like people, they are going to have to shut up and do what they’re told. They’re lucky we even pay them.”